Comics When Giant Monsters Attack Beautiful People Die

Published on June 5th, 2015 | by Dan Melrose

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WGMABPD – Episode 31: Tin Cup Whisky

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Welcome to Need To Consume’s very own comics podcast!

Ok, so here’s my pitch: Wild West, three guys battling it out against insurmountable odds, but mainly set in a bar. Not just any bar. It’s a bar that looks like a shed!
It all begins with that infamous trope: A guy walks into a bar… but this guy is Dave! He’s the stereotypical mexican bandito, looks a bit shaggy, droopy moustache, the works, but our guy has a twist! He’s brought with him some great comics!
He slams them down on the bar, the barman, Bones, provides him with some unusually fine bourbon, and nods towards the gents.
The sound of a cranky toilet echoes throughout the room, as the door to the toilet swings open. Out steps Dan, doing up his buttons and fixing his braces. His long-johns stained and rock burnt. He looks thirsty. He takes his place at the bar, and thumbs through the pile. He then reaches into his undergarments through the rear flap and, pulls from the nowhere hole his own massive pile.
Bones locks up the rickety door, and the three of them begin to delve in to these unusual comic fantasies. Fantasies such as: Autumnlands: Tooth & Claw, Arcadia, Imperium, Dead Drop, The Phantom, The Humans, Jupiters Circle, Convergence: Shazam, Princess Leia, Darth Vader, Star Wars, Big Man Plans, Airboy, The Wicked + Divine, Secret Wars, Battleworld, Armor Wars, Future Imperfect, The Master of Kung Fu, Groot, Squirrel Girl, Sheharazad, D4VE, 2000AD and Neverboy. It took frigging ages. Occasionally, you hear a beautiful woman’s voice laughing and asking the odd question. She will remain a mystery.
They then chatted over more whisky, discussing the weeks genre news, including Big Trouble in Little China and Twix adverts. They even had a go at casting the up-coming League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie, which Dave won, with his slippery greasy bandit ways.
It ends all merry like, with Dave rushing off for the bus, and Dan having to make up all this bollocks when he just wants to kick back for a bit and read some more comics’n that.
That’s about it. So, whaddya think?

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