Star Wars For The Newbie: The First Trilogy
I had managed to make it through 30 glorious years on this planet before watching what most people will classify as the greatest movies of all time: Star Wars. With Star Wars fever coming upon us (at the time of writing this article Episode VII is in production and every leaked photo or 88 seconds of footage is causing waves through the internet)
A few things to note:
- I have decided to watch them in the correct order (IV, V & VI and then I, II & III)
- I am aware of major plot twists (mostly) as I don’t live under a rock but individual nuances aren’t exactly my thing…unless I have seen them cosplayed!
- I am attempting to watch all six episodes within two weeks so that I keep up the momentum and, if I get in to it, the excitement (this is probably a pipe dream)
Episode IV:
“A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..” comes up. “so that’s where that comes from?!” she says. #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
Let the winding up begin, I did realise that it was from Star Wars but I just couldn’t help the first jab to Duke.
“Stupid question – Are there people inside the stormtrooper suits?” #KiaDoesStarWars StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
What?! How the hell am I supposed to know if they are supposed to be cyborgs or people. I was pretty sure they were people but I wanted to fact check. I do love the stormtrooper outfit, the white is really nice and neat.
Christ, C3-P0 don’t half go on – Kia #KiaDoesStarWars #StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
Yeah, I have a feeling C3-PO is going to grate on me. He does seem to literally talk to fill the space in between R2-D2’s beeps.
Kia is recognising characters like Tusken Raiders because of #cosplay. Who would have thunk it? #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
I do enjoy the amount of characters I recognise from cosplay.
“He seems to have taken the murder of his aunt and uncle quite well” #KiaDoesStarWars #Starwars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
Wow, he literally buggars off the second he sees his aunt and uncle are dead. “Oh look, the people who have looked after me for years are gone. Let’s disappear off with this old dude I have only known for 10 minutes”
Kia has noticed the lack of the Imperial March in A New Hope. Always jarring that it is missing from 1 film only #KiaDoesStarWars #StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 20, 2014
I am so used to hearing it that is was very disconcerting when it didn’t play the first time. It’s amazing what music can do for a movie!
Episode V:
I had heard from many people (including my mum) that this one is “the best one” , I was both sceptical and looking forward to it. Of course things may have started out on the wrong foot with my guide through the ‘verse (Obligatory Firefly reference)
“How do you pronounce that planet name?” – Kia looking at the scrolling text with “Hoth” in it…Gonna be a long film people #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
So with pronunciations out of the way, Luke once again doesn’t inspire me with either his daring or brains. Seriously though, why would you leave the lair when you just killed the monster and it is deadly cold outside?!
"So you killed the creature, Luke, but didn't stay in it's lair?” #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
I haven’t warmed at all to Luke, he just doesn’t seem like the kind of person I would want running things. He seems to have little loyalty (yes, I have still not got over how quickly he brushed off his uncle and aunt’s charred remains)
"3PO is SUCH a queen" – Kia's comment as he tries to mske his escape from Echo Base on Hoth #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
I mean, does he not stop blithering on about how bad things are, what a mess things are. He seems to be able to always find something to make a comment about whilst mincing away. Give me R2-D2 any day though, that little dude is cool.
“I really enjoy the lack of a universal translator a la Star Trek” #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
I kind of like the fact that I don’t know what every single alien is saying, or what R2-D2 is actually saying (although it’s pretty obvious since the script is written so his questions are almost always repeated back in the answers).
“It’s like old Star Trek!!” The bit where where everyone rolls around inside the big space worm #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
Wow, I was really on a bit of a Star Trek reminisce at this point.
Kia is loving Vader's treatment of his Imperial officers a little bit more much. #KiaDoesStaeWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
I think my guide is a little bit drunk at this point. Duke’s spelling has gone off the deep end a little!
“Wow, Han looks black in that carbonate freezing” #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
On the whole I am really not happy with the carbonite process. Why does he actually need to be frozen in carbonite, how does he end up pulling such an unrealistic face, when all is said and done I am just not down with the carbonite process.
“The continuty error of Han being in binds and then not when he is frozen, is extremely frustrating” #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) July 27, 2014
What an awful continuity error! I mean almost as big as the problem I had with the first film over the Death Star not being in range for 30 minutes. You may now wonder why there are no more tweets after this point in the movie, especially considering that one of the most important scenes in the entire movie is coming up. My guide fell asleep! I am guessing that the excitement was all just a little bit too much for Duke.
Thankfully, I have really enjoyed the movie, it was really good fun. I wasn’t surprised by Darth being Luke’s father but I was surprised by Luke losing his hand and the fact that we got to see what Darth Vader actually looked like.
Episode VI:
Better late than never it’s #KiaDoesStarsWars live tweet-a-long! Tonight: Return Of The Jedi! Let’s go! #StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) August 3, 2014
So it took me a little while to get round to the third film but it was worth it. I had enjoyed the series so far and was happy to see how things all panned out I had questions about if the story would come to a proper conclusion. I realise that the next three films are prequels so that led me to believe that Episode VI would be the end however, the current working on Episode VII makes me question a little if the story will be concluded properly.
Kia recognises a Gamorrean guard purely because a cosplayed dressed as one at a con tried to steal her coffee #KiaDoesStarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) August 3, 2014
Yup, that is literally how I know all the characters from Star Wars. Deal with it, suckers. Also, it was my first coffee of the day at a con – that stuff is important!
How comes no one spots the only Black man in the entire galaxy in Jabba’s palace? #KiaDoesStarWars #StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) August 3, 2014
There seem to be a huge amount of diversity when it comes to aliens but not when it comes to the types of humans that are part of the Empire, why is that? Where did the metropolitan lifestyle disappear to in the galaxy?
Kia does’t seem to appreciate this hero lark. She wanted the Rancor to eat Skywalker #KiaDoesStarWars #StarWars
— NeedToConsume.Com (@Needtoconsume) August 3, 2014
It has to be said, I am simply not a Skywalker fan. I find him a little on the winey side and not very inspiring as either a leader or a character. I was all for him being eaten. Bring back Boba in his place, okay, maybe not. Also, I find it crazy how many Boba Fett cosplays I have seen since I’ve been going to cons (a little over a year now) when he literally does nothing, I mean nothing of any real value, please someone enlighten me!
Over all I have really enjoyed watching all three of the films, of course there are huge glaring errors and misjudgements throughout but I’m a sci-fi fan so I can overlook them and still enjoy the story. These are obviously Duke’s favourite movies and he can pretty much quote them all word-for-word so I am sure we will watch them again and I will be very happy to do so.
- Skyfall – Bond Bodyguard - October 29, 2015
- From Russia With Love: But Set In Turkey - October 19, 2015
- Star Wars: Uprising is out now! - September 10, 2015