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Published on December 5th, 2014 | by Kia

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Star Wars For The Newbie: The First Trilogy

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I had managed to make it through 30 glorious years on this planet before watching what most people will classify as the greatest movies of all time: Star Wars. With Star Wars fever coming upon us (at the time of writing this article Episode VII is in production and every leaked photo or 88 seconds of footage is causing waves through the internet)

A few things to note:

  • I have  decided to watch them in the correct order (IV, V & VI and then I, II & III)
  • I am aware of major plot twists (mostly) as I don’t live under a rock but individual nuances aren’t exactly my thing…unless I have seen them cosplayed!
  • I am attempting to watch all six episodes within two weeks so that I keep up the momentum and, if I get in to it, the excitement (this is probably a pipe dream)

Episode IV:

Let the winding up begin, I did realise that it was from Star Wars but I just couldn’t help the first jab to Duke.

What?! How the hell am I supposed to know if they are supposed to be cyborgs or people.  I was pretty sure they were people but I wanted to fact check.  I do love the stormtrooper outfit, the white is really nice and neat.

Yeah, I have a feeling C3-PO is going to grate on me.  He does seem to literally talk to fill the space in between R2-D2’s beeps.

I do enjoy the amount of characters I recognise from cosplay.

Wow, he literally buggars off the second he sees his aunt and uncle are dead.  “Oh look, the people who have looked after me for years are gone.  Let’s disappear off with this old dude I have only known for 10 minutes”

I am so used to hearing it that is was very disconcerting when it didn’t play the first time.  It’s amazing what music can do for a movie!

Episode V:

I had heard from many people (including my mum) that this one is “the best one” , I was both sceptical and looking forward to it.  Of course things may have started out on the wrong foot with my guide through the ‘verse (Obligatory Firefly reference)

So with pronunciations out of the way, Luke once again doesn’t inspire me with either his daring or brains.  Seriously though, why would you leave the lair when you just killed the monster and it is deadly cold outside?!

I haven’t warmed at all to Luke, he just doesn’t seem like the kind of person I would want running things.  He seems to have little loyalty (yes, I have still not got over how quickly he brushed off his uncle and aunt’s charred remains)

I mean, does he not stop blithering on about how bad things are, what a mess things are.  He seems to be able to always find something to make a comment about whilst mincing away.  Give me R2-D2 any day though, that little dude is cool.

I kind of like the fact that I don’t know what every single alien is saying, or what R2-D2 is actually saying (although it’s pretty obvious since the script is written so his questions are almost always repeated back in the answers).

Wow, I was really on a bit of a Star Trek reminisce at this point.

I think my guide is a little bit drunk at this point. Duke’s spelling has gone off the deep end a little!

On the whole I am really not happy with the carbonite process.  Why does he actually need to be frozen in carbonite, how does he end up pulling such an unrealistic face, when all is said and done I am just not down with the carbonite process.

What an awful continuity error! I mean almost as big as the problem I had with the first film over the Death Star not being in range for 30 minutes.  You may now wonder why there are no more tweets after this point in the movie, especially considering that one of the most important scenes in the entire movie is coming up.  My guide fell asleep!  I am guessing that the excitement was all just a little bit too much for Duke.

Thankfully, I have really enjoyed the movie, it was really good fun.  I wasn’t surprised by Darth being Luke’s father but I was surprised by Luke losing his hand and the fact that we got to see what Darth Vader actually looked like.

Episode VI:

So it took me a little while to get round to the third film but it was worth it.  I had enjoyed the series so far and was happy to see how things all panned out I had questions about if the story would come to a proper conclusion.  I realise that the next three films are prequels so that led me to believe that Episode VI would be the end however, the current working on Episode VII makes me question a little if the story will be concluded properly.

Yup, that is literally how I know all the characters from Star Wars. Deal with it, suckers.  Also, it was my first coffee of the day at a con – that stuff is important!

There seem to be a huge amount of diversity when it comes to aliens but not when it comes to the types of humans that are part of the Empire, why is that?  Where did the metropolitan lifestyle disappear to in the galaxy?

It has to be said, I am simply not a Skywalker fan.  I find him a little on the winey side and not very inspiring as either a leader or a character.  I was all for him being eaten.  Bring back Boba in his place, okay, maybe not.  Also, I find it crazy how many Boba Fett cosplays I have seen since I’ve been going to cons (a little over a year now) when he literally does nothing, I mean nothing of any real value, please someone enlighten me!

Over all I have really enjoyed watching all three of the films, of course there are huge glaring errors and misjudgements throughout but I’m  a sci-fi fan so I can overlook them and still enjoy the story.  These are obviously Duke’s favourite movies and he can pretty much quote them all word-for-word so I am sure we will watch them again and I will be very happy to do so.

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